After The 'I Love You'
by Hollyoaks Nutter
Summary: Aaron realises he has made the biggest mistake, but will he be able to put it right? Please read and comment.  Carly x
1. Paddy Speaks To Aaron

**Paddy Speaks To Aaron**

"_A…Aaron!"_

He had stormed up the stairs so fast that Paddy didn't notice the tears streaming down his face.

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **

"_Go away."_

He'd buried his head so deeply under his covers that Paddy chose to ignore his mutterings.

"_Did you slam that door loudly enough? Only I don't think the Barton's quite heard it."_

Paddy drawled sarcastically.

"_I said go away."_

"_Aaron what's wrong?"_

Not taking the hint Paddy pushed Aaron over and perched on the edge of his bed.

"_Nothing. Nothing's wrong."_

"_So that's why Jackson is sat on our doorstep with a face like a wet weekend."_

"_I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"_

"_I don't need to."_

"_You heard then?"_

"_It was difficult not to considering you were on my front lawn."_

"_I'm sorry about that. It's just-"_

"_It wasn't quite what you were expecting?"_

"_Exactly."_

"_That lad loves you. Is that really so difficult to believe?"_

"_We've only been together three months and after everything I put him through I am surprised he lasted a day."_

"_But he took you back."_

"_Then I messed up again. I got Clyde killed and then after begging him for a second chance…well you saw what happened."_

"_Aaron I want you to be happy so I am going to give you some advice._ Aaron rolled his eyes skywards. _Don't look at me in that tone of voice. I may not have been in many successful relationships, but I am an expert in falling in love. That boy has been by your side as you came out and struggled to accept yourself and he stuck around when once again you acted with your fists rather than your brain. Don't speak_. He preempted him. _Just think for once. Do you love him?"_

"_I…I don't…I think so."_

"_Then give yourself a break. I know people have constantly let you down or just walked away, but Jackson hasn't. He hasn't left since that day in court. He moved out to give you some space, but he paid Mickey off so you could start over. He came to speak to me earlier."_

Paddy explained.

"_But he might."_

Aaron admitted.

"_You can't push him away because you're scared of something that may or may not happen."_

"_I don't want to get hurt."_

"_No one ever does, but falling in love and being happy is worth that risk. I'm living proof of that."_

He quipped.

"_He probably won't ever want to speak to me again anyway."_

Aaron attempted to bury his head under the covers once more.

"_He's downstairs in the kitchen so I think there is a good chance he does."_

"_But I can't. I mean I don't know if I can say that to him."_

"_I understand that, but running wasn't the smartest idea. I don't think it was what he was expecting."_

"_He surprised me first."_

Aaron pouted like a petulant child.

"_Talk to him. I'll send him up."_

"_Thanks Paddy."_

"_What for?"_

"_Everything."_

"_You're welcome. You know you can always tell me anything, right?"_

"_I know." _


	2. Peace Making

**Peace Making**

Jackson climbed the stairs slowly, expecting to find Aaron frantically destroying his room, so he was surprised to find him lay on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

"_Can I sit down?"_

He edged round the bed, keeping a safe distance away from any limb of Aarons that could reach him.

"_I guess."_

"_So you talked to Paddy?"_

"_He talked at me." _

"_And did you listen?"_

"_I don't know what you want me to say."_

"_Just tell me what you're thinking."_

"_I can't. I mean I don't know."_

"_Well that's a great help."_

"_I know and I'm sorry."_

"_Aaron I don't expect you to say I love you back, but running away is not the answer. If something is difficult you just leave and bury your head in the sand but you can't keep doing that."_

"_I know. I don't mean to. Can we try again? Lets go out tonight."_

"_Where to?"_

"_Bar West or anywhere you want."_

What started off as a night planned for just them was soon interrupted by Paddy and Marlon insisting they needed a night out on the tiles. Whilst Aaron was not in the slightest bit amused Jackson was internally grateful for the distraction, as in all honesty things between him and Aaron were awkward and they were about to get a whole lot worse.


	3. The Accident

**The Accident**

"_I swear if you fall down here Marlon I'm leaving you."_

Aaron groaned, as Marlon seemed to be getting heavier by the second as he stopped walking. Beside him Jackson was having even less fun as Paddy had the use of his legs and was trying to wander off in the opposite direction.

"_I am never doing this again." _

Jackson seethed as they hauled them into the back of his van, where they fell on top of each other giggling hysterically.

"_Well once we get back you won't have to."_

"_Don't be like that."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Off with me. If anything I should be the one not talking to you."_

"_Why? Cos I couldn't say I love you?"_

"_No, because every time I try to talk to you, you run away. And what was that with Mickey? I gave you two chances to leave and that was just tonight."_

"_I don't mean to it's just I can't do this. And Mickey winds me up. You didn't sort things by paying him off because my dog's still dead."_

"_Why is this so difficult for you? Talking about feelings is not so easy for me either, but I try."_

"'_Cos I don't want to lose you."_

"_How will you lose me?_ Aaron instantly looked at the floor as it suddenly dawned on him. _You can't say you love me."_

"_It's not that I don't. I just…"_

"_Get in the van. We'll get these two home." _

Paddy had leant over the front seat and started beeping the horn to catch their attention.

"_Jackson I am sorry."_

"_Just get in. We'll talk when we get back."_

The drive home seemed a lot longer than the drive there. Jackson turned up the radio, so he didn't have to speak and Paddy and Marlon were singing along loudly and out of tune providing the perfect distraction.

"_I do care about you. You know?"_

All he really wanted to say was 'I do love you' but he was still uncomfortable saying exactly how he felt, although he'd got better with speaking to Paddy and his mum, so maybe what he needed was time.

"_I thought we weren't going to do this."_

"_Jackson you have been the best thing in my life these last three months, what with everything that has happened."_

"_I sense a but."_

"_But I am only eighteen and you've been with other guy's before."_

"_So what? You want to play the field."_

"_It's not just that. I'm feeling stuff for you, me mam and Paddy I've never felt before and I don't know what it all is. I have nothing to compare this too. For most of my life no one has given a damn about me, so the truth is I don't know how to give one back. So I can't say I love you 'cos I don't know."_

"_You'd know if it was love."_

"_See so I've lost you."_

"_No. No you haven't because I never had you in the first place."_

"_Don't say that."_

"_It's true."_

_"No it isn't. I said I don't know, not no. I'm feeling new stuff for a lot of people it's just all mixed up in my head."_

Both of them sat in silence, tears pouring down their faces, when suddenly Paddy leant over trying to adjust the radio, in shock Jackson lost control of the wheel, despite Aaron's attempt to keep it steady and almost in slow motion the car thundered into a tree trunk and Paddy seemed to fly over their shoulder, his head connected with the front windscreen.

"_NOOOOOO." _

Aaron covered his eyes, as the blood spatter ricocheted over them, he could taste it in his mouth and the smell was repugnant. From behind them Marlon screamed in terror.


	4. It Might Not Happen

**Three Days After The Accident – It Might Not Happen**

'_**It is cold outside again, or at least it looks it. I haven't moved since they brought you in. I answered all their questions, but now they won't tell me anything, because I am not your real family. They don't understand that we are so much more than that. We might not share blood or have the same last name, but it's you who has always been there for me when everyone else, my mam included turned their backs on me. You gave me a home. A second chance. I will always be grateful for that. I want you to know I am trying to sort things with Jackson. It was our stupid argument that started all this. I hope he can forgive me. I hope you can too. I do love him you were right all along. Please wake up. I need you. You promised me you wouldn't leave. You can't die Paddy. You just can't.'**_

"_Aaron._ He felt a comforting hand rest on his shoulder. _What are you doing?"_

Jackson's warm voice eased the tension that was building in his shoulders and he visibly relaxed as he enveloped him in his strong, tender arms.

"_I'm writing that letter thingy as David suggested."_

Jackson was actually impressed. Aaron had been referred to counseling after the crash, as he started with nightmares and flashbacks which resulted in him having night time accidents. But Jackson had also spoken to David so he was aware of Paddy's critical condition.

"_You are? How's it going?"_

"_I don't know. I have a draft. I really don't want to be writing this I mean he could wake up."_

He tried to remain optimistic.

"_He could, but you do realise that is a long shot._ Aaron left his make shift desk and returned to his seat by Paddy's side. _Aaron. Look at me. _Jackson crouched next to him as you would a child and interlaced their fingers. _I really think you should finish that letter."_

"_Bbbbb…but he might wake up."_

Aaron insisted. Jackson held him tightly as he buried his head in his chest and cried uncontrollably.

"_It's time to go._ Jackson rubbed his back soothingly. _Visiting time is over."_

"_I need to be here." _

Aaron sniveled and wiped his eyes.

"_The doctor will call you if anything changes. What you need is food and a change of clothes."_

"_I don't."_

Aaron replied stubbornly.

"_You do._ Jackson reasoned. _You need to look after yourself for your own sake as well as Paddy's. We'll come back tomorrow afternoon 'cos Marlon's coming in the morning. The doctor wants to speak with him 'cos he's registered as Paddy's next of kin."_

"_He's not his family he's mine. I should be talking to them."_

"_Marlon is older and he has known Paddy longer. Plus they'll need him to make some tough decisions you are not ready to make."_

"_I can answer questions I'm not soft."_

"_I never said you were._ Jackson could sense Aaron's frustration bubbling at the surface, but he didn't move away, he didn't even release his hand. _The doctor is going to tell him that if Paddy hasn't woken up tomorrow then there is little chance he will and it is only the machine keeping him alive."_

"_They can't turn it off."_

"_They have to eventually, so Marlon will have to agree to that and then call his family and friends to say their goodbyes."_

"_But he could wake up."_

"_Aaron. _Jackson tilted his chin, so he was looking directly into his tear filled eyes. _Hun, he isn't going to wake up and even if he does he will be seriously brain damaged."_

"_You don't know that."_

"_I do."_

"_How? You're a bloody builder not a doctor."_

"_I know because I spoke to Marlon earlier and that nurse on reception that obviously fancies him gave him the heads up."_

"_So it is true then?"_

Jackson had never seen him so defeated. The Aaron he knew. The lad he had fallen in love with, whilst being scarily unpredictable was a fighter.

"_Yeah it is."_

"_In that case I am staying. If it is my last night with him I want it to be on our own. There are so many things I need to tell him."_

"_I'll clear it with the nurse, but promise me you will at least eat."_

"_I will."_

Jackson wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.

"_I'll see you in the morning. Give me your keys. I'll get you some clean clothes. You'll be okay?"_

He tried to sound certain rather than concerned, but it didn't really work.

"_I'll be fine."_

Aaron tried to reassure him.

"_Try and finish that letter. It might help."_

"_I'll try. Jay?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I…thanks._ As Jackson turned to leave the room Aaron summoned all of his courage and managed to say the three little words he had been so scared of up till now. _I love you."_

"_I know. I love you too."_

Jackson whispered. He turned to say goodbye and in that brief moment, when their eyes connected they both knew that whatever happened, no matter how difficult they would face it together.


	5. Saying Goodbye

**A Week Later – Saying Goodbye**

"_Aaron. You better be ready. The car is going to be here soon."_

"_You're wasting your breath. He isn't here."_

Jackson appeared from his bedroom suited and booted, fiddling with his tie.

"_Why? Where is he? Let me do that." _

Chaz fussed over his tie and collar in a motherly fashion, as tears welled in her eyes.

"_I don't know. He went out at seven and his suite's gone."_

"_And you didn't think to say something?"_

"_N…no_. Jackson chocked as Chaz tightened his tie a little more than necessary. _He'll be here. He just needed some space."_

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**_

"_That will be them now."_

Chaz attempted to put on her shoes whilst running to the door.

"_I'll get it."_

Jackson offered.

"_You're alright I've got it."_

"_Aaron's outside anyway."_

Looking through the window, Jackson could see him sat on the doorstep, staring at the Hurst as it pulled up outside Smithy Cottage.

"_Is everyone ready?"_

Marlon's presence barely registered with him, in fact everything he said went in one ear and out the other. He felt completely numb. He hadn't even realized he was crying until Jackson knelt before him and gently wiped his tears away with his thumb.

"_We're ready. Let me just get Chaz."_

Everyone formed a procession in the street behind Aaron, Jackson, Marlon and Zac who were the coffin bearers. Many of the neighbours came out of their houses to show their support.

"_I don't think I can do this."_

Crying silently and shaking like a leaf, Aaron attempted to make a run for freedom as the Church came into view.

"_Yes you can. I'm here. Your mam's here._ Jackson whispered as he rubbed his lower back soothingly. _Today is about Paddy. You can do it."_

"_I can't."_

"_Look at me. Just at me. You trust me don't you?"_

"_You know I do."_

"_Good, because I know you can do this. Today is all about doing your best to get through and we can do that together."_

Jackson held out his hand and to his surprise and everyone else's, breathing deeply Aaron accepted it and they walked the final street hand-in-hand, ignoring the stares and mutterings from several areas of the crowd now following in their wake.

"_I believe both Marlon and Aaron have a few words they would like to say._ Ashley started the service. _So please be seated."_

"_Aaron are you okay?"_

Jackson whispered as he seemed to have frozen in his seat.

"_Yes I am fine."_

Regaining his composure and ignoring the fact his legs were wobbling Aaron shot Jackson his most confident smile before making his way unsteadily to the front.

"_Take your time."_

Ashley smiled reassuringly.

Aaron took a deep cleansing breath and focusing solely on Jackson started his speech.

"_Okay, so many of you will be looking up here and instantly seeing trouble. To most of you I am just a violent, angry, loud mouthed thug. Who can blame you? I tend to think with my fists rather than my brain. But Paddy was different. He gave me a second, third well more like one hundred chances. He gave me somewhere to live when my mam left and he has never given up on me. He was more like a dad than my real one and I loved him so much more. So what I really wanted to say was thank you to him for changing my life. I love him and I will miss him so much. Plus I am going to make a real effort to change, so I hope wherever he is looking down on us all he will be proud of me."_

"_He will be. He always was."_

Marlon put a comforting arm round his shoulder and guided him back to his seat, where literally pale as a ghost he collapsed into Jackson's waiting arms, tears that had been threatening to fall were now flowing freely, as he buried his head deep in his chest.

"_He'll be okay."_

Crying himself, Jackson signaled to Ashley to continue with the service.

"_Now it is time to say our final goodbyes to our loving friend and neighbour Patrick Kirk. _Jackson heard Aaron attempt to stifle his sobs. _As the curtain is closed we say our farewells, committing his soul to heaven and his ashes to the earth. Remembered with love, may he rest in peace. Goodbye Paddy." _


	6. Learning To Cope

**A Month Later – Learning To Cope**

"_So how are you doing today?"_

Aaron was in no mood to sit and talk about his feelings, but Jackson had brought him to the session and was currently sat outside to stop him running.

"_Fine."_

Aaron mumbled without lifting his gaze from the floor.

"_Great. Well since that is so obviously true you can go home and I can take a very early lunch._ David quipped. _I know you are not okay. Aaron._ He looked up at David's face. _It is okay to talk about this. Are you still having the nightmares?_ He managed a brief nod. _And the other problems?"_

Aaron blushed furiously, but managed to shake his head in the affirmative. David was referring to the bedwetting that had started because of the nightmares. His bladder seemed to have a mind of its own and it was getting more embarrassing, although to his credit Jackson never made a big deal about it, although Aaron could see the lack of sleep was getting to him.

"_It's…I'm fine. I'll sort it."_

"_How?"_

"_I don't know." _

Aaron growled irritably but honestly.

"_You need to talk about the nightmares. Tell me about that night when you all went out."_

"_What about it?"_

Aaron hugged himself protectively.

"_The details. Everything and anything. I love a bit of gossip. Come on my job's boring otherwise."_

David goaded until Aaron eventually cracked a smile. The one thing he hadn't been counting on was that once Aaron started talking there really was no stopping him, but he was grateful he had kept an open diary for that afternoon.

"_And I guess that brings me more or less up to today."_

Aaron finally took a deep breath and a genuine smile played on his lips.

"_So, how do you feel now?"_

"_Better, well calmer actually."_

"_I can believe it._ David laughed. _You've just released a good twenty years of pent up emotions."_

"_True, but how does that help me now? Paddy isn't coming back."_

"_No, but that is the first time you have said his name out loud so maybe that was the first step in the right direction. You can't just forget him, you need to grieve. Once you have fully accepted that Paddy has gone and you can remember the good things, you can move forwards and all those problems you're having will just stop."_

"_Really?"_

Aaron didn't mean to sound skeptical but it all sounded too good to be true.

"_I think so. Talk to Jackson or Marlon, or if it will help you visit Paddy's grave."_

"_I….I…can't well I haven't been yet."_

"_Give it a try. Like I said you don't have to forget him. I'll see you next week."_

"_Yeah. Yeah you will and thanks David."_

"_My pleasure. Take care, now."_

In the deserted waiting room Jackson had been dosing. In all fairness they had not had many nights of undisturbed sleep and with having started a new build up at Home Farm for Declan he was shattered. As the door creaked open and he heard Aaron's voice he was startled awake.

"_So how did it go?"_

Jackson could hardly believe it. Aaron seemed to be smiling.

"_I'm great. Lets pick up some tea and a few cans. I have a lot to tell you."_

"_So you're definitely feeling better?"_

"_Much."_

"_Thank God. So we might get some sleep tonight then?"_

He sounded relieved.

"_Don't count on it._ Aaron flirted outrageously. _Give me the keys. I'll drive."_

"_Fine, but take it slowly."_

That was a testament to how tired Jackson actually was, as usually he didn't trust anyone with his van. However, since the accident he'd been cagey about getting behind the wheel, but what with all Aaron's problems he had pushed his to one side for the foreseeable at any rate.

"_You coming then?"_

"_Yes. I'm just getting the feelin' back in my legs. I've been sat out here for two and a half nearly three hours."_

"_I know. I'm sorry about that."_

"_It's okay 'cos I'm sure I just heard you say tea's on you."_

Jackson quipped.

"_Café it is then."_

"_Whoopee. Last of the big spenders."_

"_Well it's a good job you're with me for my astounding looks and winning personality isn't it?"_

Aaron fished for compliments.

"_That and you're not a bad-"_

"_Oy. Not here."_

"_I was going to say cook." _

Jackson pouted as Aaron slapped him playfully.

"_Of course you were."_

"_I was."_

"_Fine. Well it's a shame we're eating out, because I could show you how much of a good cook I am."_

"_We could give the café a miss._ Jackson suggested hopefully. _I'm not that hungry anymore."_

"_Me neither."_

"_Home it is then. _With a final shared smile Aaron put his foot down._ I said slowly!" _


	7. Taking The Next Step

**Three Months Later – Taking The Next Step**

"_Move in with me."_

Even as Jackson said the words he sensed it was too much too soon for Aaron although the nightmares and 'accidents' had stopped, but only recently.

They had been watching Rocky or at least Aaron had been attempting to, but Jackson had been fidgeting for the last hour and that had been distracting. He turned to face him, opening his mouth to speak, but all the words whirring around his head that he was desperate to say suddenly disappeared. Unable to physically express what he was thinking, Aaron stood up, calm as you like and walked out the front door. He bumped into someone on the doorstep and mumbled an incoherent apology before wandering dazedly towards the shops.

Thankfully there was no sign of Hazel, although Viv was bad enough, if she had been there he would have given the place a wide birth, she was okay in small doses.

"_Roses? Someone's in trouble. Are they for that handsome boyfriend of yours?"_

"_What? No. Do you have any spare boxes?"_

"_Awww are you going somewhere? I'll miss your charming personality gracing my shop."_

"_Maybe."_

"_Jackson's not leaving you is he?"_

"_No. Not that it's any of your business_, Aaron scowled, _but he has asked me to move in with him."_

"_Bit soon isn't it?"_

"_No it isn't. Life is too short. I love him, so I am going to take the chance."_

Viv smiled as a tear appeared in her eye.

"_Well best of luck to the pair of you. Paddy would have been so proud."_

"_Thanks. The roses are for him."_

"_They're beautiful. Do me a favour and take one of the mixed bouquets. I don't do cemeteries."_

"_It is my first visit."_

"_I can understand why they help some folks but they have always given me the willies. But boxes I can do. How many do you want?"_

"_Just one or two for now."_

"_Right well that will be £3.99 for the roses and the box is free. Penny change. Thank you very much."_

"_Cheers. Bye."_

Viv couldn't help but smile, for Aaron that had been positively pleasant.

Walking back towards Jackson's he felt almost giddy. He was glad to find him sat in the same position on the sofa with Rocky still muted but playing in the background.

"_Jackson?"_

"_What? Did you expect me to leave too?"_

"_No. I mean I am glad you haven't."_

"_I get it okay. It's too soon after everything that's happened, but you could have just said no."_

"_I know."_

"_Just stop running away from me."_

"_I didn't or at least I never meant to. I just didn't know how to say-"_

"_No."_

"_No. I didn't know how to say yes."_

Jackson's face lit up like all his Christmas's had come at once and the old sparkle returned to his eyes.

"_I went to ask Viv for boxes. She has more."_

"_Oh My God. This is so amazing. I've found the perfect flat in town." _

He was smiling like a Cheshire Cat and his enthusiasm was infectious as he threw his arms around Aaron's neck almost strangling him.

"_I know a better one. Move in with me. Paddy left me the house and I have to keep the vets running."_

"_You're sure you want to stay there?"_

Jackson asked already knowing the answer.

"_Of course. It's my home."_

"_It's a good job I turned that other place down then isn't it?"_

"_Amazing._ Aaron quipped. _So when are you moving in?"_

"_How does tomorrow suit you?"_

Jackson laughed.

"_Great. Do you want a can to celebrate?"_

"_Yeah I could murder one."_

"_Just think tomorrow we will be doing this in our own house."_

"_Yeah with my mum in tow."_

"_She's not that bad to live with."_

"_Shhhh. She might hear you."_

"_Ey, I was being serious."_

"_So am I." _

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"_She said she's happy at the B n' B, so we'll see. But before you move in I was going to ask a favour. _He held up the roses. _Can you come to the grave with me tomorrow?"_

"_Course. It's a shame though. I thought they were for me."_

"_So did Viv. She asked if I was in trouble."_

"_And for a change you're not."_

Jackson replied sarcastically.

"_I know. It is a miracle._ Aaron smiled. _So are you sure about this?"_

"_I asked you first. Are you sure?"_

"_I guess. I mean I asked you to move into mine. Can I watch Rocky in peace?"_

"_I guess so."_

They snuggled on the sofa, beer in hand celebrating their last night of freedom before taking the next giant step in their relationship and neither of them could have been happier.

"_Shhhhh. This is the best bit."_

Aaron whispered.


	8. Moving Day

**Twenty Four Hours Later – Moving Day**

"_Aaron. Aaron come and look."_

"_Give me a sec. Toast is burning."_

He snaked his arm round Jackson's waist, as he handed him a burnt piece of toast a smile played across his lips. It looked like most of the village had turned out to help them. His Uncle Zac had brought the van, Cain and Ryan had obviously taken the day off work, Adam had roped in Scarlett, Hannah and Holly to give them a hand, even Victoria had managed to crawl out of her pit despite it being her day off and his mum and Hazel were stood on the front lawn arguing as per usual.

"_We might get it all done today after all."_

Jackson smiled.

"_You think?"_

Aaron replied sarcastically as Jackson started blubbering.

"_What's up now?"_

He asked half annoyed and half amused.

"_It…it's nnnnothing. Just all this. I am so happy."_

"_If you keep this up I am going to call it off. Pull yourself together 'cos I am letting everyone in."_

"_So where do you two la-"_

Zac's offer of help was interrupted by Hazel nearly steamrolling through him, sniveling and flapping hysterically, similar to how Jackson had been a few moments earlier. Chaz trudged in her wake a look of something close to disgust on her face.

"_He is moving four doors away, not to the other side of the world."_

Aaron couldn't help but laugh, she'd never really mastered the whole maternal thing, but he soon stopped as Hazel enveloped him in a death grip, kissing every inch of him she could reach as he tried to pries her off, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

"_Right. Well Uncle Zac do you have the van?"_

"_You're not driving."_

Chaz interjected.

"_I know. We are meant to be packing stuff at his house, but it looks like Mugging's here will be doing most of that."_

Jackson waved his hand dismissively at Aaron as his mum had started him crying again.

"_I'll drive for you if you like?"_

Ryan offered.

"_Yeah, that'll be great."_

"_And where do you want us?"_

Victoria gestured at herself, Scarlett, Hannah and Holly.

"_If you don't mind packing you're welcome to help me at the house, or if you prefer you can stay and unload here or failing that you can help Adam make drinks."_

"_Why am I making the tea?"_

Adam scowled.

"_I think he's trying to say you're a liability."_

Cain teased.

"_Yeah 'cos I'm the one sat on my backside blabbering."_

"_He's allowed to. He's is moving today._ Aaron justified. _And the longer he can keep his mum out of our way the better. Plus I want something drinkable later."_

He whispered.

"_So kitchen it is then."_

Scarlett smiled as Victoria and Hannah rolled their eyes at her.

"_I'll help you pack if you want?"_

Holly offered. She couldn't bare another minuet alone with Scarlett discussing nails, hair and makeup.

"_Sure, but there is a lot of heavy stuff."_

"_I'm not scared of lifting I have helped out on the farm and I am not especially bothered if I brake a nail."_

"_Great you're hired. Adam you can stay and unload 'cos Jackson will need a hand this end. _Aaron shouted instructions left, right and centre and he was surprised to see them being followed. _Jay. Jay. I'm going to yours. If there is anything I'm not sure about I'll call."_

"_Yeah okay. See you in a bit."_

He wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. A series of 'Awwws' and wolf whistles erupted around the room causing Aaron to blush furiously.

"_Right. Lets get going people."_

Arriving at Jackson's house Aaron was not impressed to discover Jackson's clothes still in the wardrobe and all his CDs, DVDs and trinkets still on shelves.

"_He was supposed to have packed some of this."_

Aaron complained.

"_To be fair you didn't give him much notice."_

"_True, but I offered to help him last night and he came back this morning."_

"_Well he probably had other plans for last night."_

Holly winked suggestively as she nudged him playfully.

"_Yeah, sleeping. We haven't done much of that lately."_

Aaron conceded.

"_Sorry. _Holly mumbled guiltily. _Adam mentioned you are seeing a counselor. How's that going?"_

"_Better than expected. How about yours?"_

"_Slowly, but it may be going somewhere."_

"_That's great._ He attempted to fill the awkward silence without sounding too patronizing. _You know I don't think he's even got any boxes. I swear it is a good job I love him."_

Aaron blushed as he realized who he was talking to.

"_Yeah it is."_

Holly smiled shyly.

"_Viv's got boxes if you fancy a trip to the shop."_

"_No. I've got a better idea. You start sorting up here and I'll get the boxes, that way we'll be done quicker."_

"_Deal. And Holly?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Thanks for doing this. I can't be easy, for Vic either I suppose."_

"_It's not, but we're mates aren't we? And mates help each other out."_

"_I know. I just…thanks."_

"_No problem. I draw the line at underwear. I see enough of Adam's at home."_

"_I promise no underwear. You can start downstairs when you get back."_

"_Great. See you in a bit._ To Aaron's surprised and possibly her own, Holly wrapped her arms round him and kissed him on the cheek. _I won't be long."_

Two hours later having packed and then repacked Zac's van, Holly was shattered and Aaron was gunning for Jackson.

"_What's the hold up? _Jackson sang chirpily down the phone. _We still have to unload this end."_

"_Hold up! I'll give you hold up."_

Aaron screeched down the phone; spit flying everywhere, so Holly intervened before he had the chance to get into a rhythm.

"_We're on the way now. Put the kettle on, we're gasping."_

"_Cheeky sod."_

Aaron cursed him fluently under his breath.

"_Right. One final check. Loverboy's waiting for you."_

Holly teased.

"_Yeah well if he'd done some packing he wouldn't have had to wait so long."_

Aaron grumbled.

"_I am sure he'll make it up to you."_

"_It'll take more than a cup of tea."_

"_I bet he has biscuits too."_

"_He better. _Aaron huffed. _Right. That's the lot."_

"_Don't forget the keys."_

"_I won't. It's time to go home."_

They breathed a sigh of relief.

"_Are you excited?"_

Holly finally plucked up the courage to ask on the walk back to Smithy.

"_More nervous. _Aaron replied honestly. _But it was my idea, so it will certainly be interesting."_

"_Well everyone is right for a change."_

"_About what?"_

"_Paddy. He really would have been proud of you."_

"_You think?"_

"_After everything you've been through? You've really turned your life around Aaron. You were like a son to him."_

Holly squeezed his shoulder comfortingly as tears welled in his eyes and he turned his back on her.

"_I hope you're right."_

As they walked through the front door at Smithy Aaron was slightly peeved to find everyone lay about in their lounge and not a cup of tea in sight.

"_It's good to see you're all hard at work."_

"_The car's only just got here."_

"_Yeah what took you so long?"_

Jackson had the grace to look guilty, but Holly had to restrain Aaron to prevent murder.

"_You hadn't sorted or packed anything and you didn't even have boxes, so don't you dare give me 'what took you so long?' and what happened to our tea?"_

He fumed as he stood before Jackson, his hands firmly on his hips.

"_Adam's on it. Sit down. Relax."_

Grabbing him round the waist in a rugby tackle, Jackson pulled Aaron onto his knee, squeezing him tightly he kissed him all over the head until he surrendered and settled into his arms.

"_Get a room you two."_

Cain sneered.

"_We will later._ Jackson winked. _When we've unpacked."_

"_We best get a move on then._ Aaron offered his hand to help Jackson to his feet. _Right. Adam, Ryan, Cain and I will unload. Jay you and the girls can unpack and sort. Any comments, complaints, questions or suggestions?_ No one uttered a word. _Good. In that case get moving."_

"_I like this new masterful you. It is very sexy. _Aaron flushed as Jackson slapped his backside flirtatiously just as the girls happened to walk past them giggling hysterically. _Ey, it could be worse. I could have been talking about…" _

As Jackson whispered in his ear, Aaron literally turned the colour of beetroot.

"_Yes maybe later. Right now we have unpacking and you know…stuff to do."_

He mumbled awkwardly.

"_Are you helping us or what?"_

Cain hollered moodily.

"_Y…yes I'm coming."_

"_Well that will be the intention."_

Jackson teased.

"_Don't. I have to go."_

Aaron tried to desperately escape his clutches as he was attempting to shower him in kisses once more.

"_Why?"_

Jackson whined.

"_Because if you keep distracting me we won't get to test our new bed."_

"_We have a new bed?"_

"_Since mine was only a single and I thought we'd need a bigger one I swapped it with Paddy's this morning."_

"_And you're okay with that?"_

"_I changed the sheets."_

"_That isn't what I meant."_

"_I know. But he left me the house so I am guessing it is mine."_

"_Of course it is. I just wanted to check you were okay."_

"_I am or at least I am getting there."_

"_It's a step forwards."_

"_Are you okay with it?"_

Jackson could sense Aaron was disappointed with his reaction, although in fairness he had no idea how he was supposed to react in this situation.

"_Aaron look at me._ He tilted his chin, so he had to look at him directly. _I think it is great and Paddy certainly won't have minded."_

"_Great. _Aaron smiled shyly. _So shall we get on with things?"_

"_Definitely."_

Jackson managed to return his smile.


	9. That Evening

**That Evening – Celebrations Turn To Nightmares**

"_And that is everything."_

Ryan called from the back of Zac's van.

"_What about upstairs?"_

Aaron called as he saw feet on the landing.

"_Nearly done."_

Scarlett replied chirpily.

"_Actually it is done._ Jackson interrupted, leaning over the banister smiling down at Aaron. _Come and have a look."_

"_He'll love it. Don't worry."_

Victoria whispered to Jackson as they heard five pairs of feet trudging up the stairs.

"_I hope so."_

He deliberately held his breath.

Walking into his bedroom Aaron's jaw hit the floor. Jackson had done a complete makeover. As well as their new bed he'd put up shelves, a desk, build a bigger fitted wardrobe, installed a new TV and painted. As a special surprise Jackson had bought Aaron a picture frame and the girls had spent the better part of that morning, whilst he painted, choosing and arranging all the photos Aaron and Marlon had of them and Paddy.

"_I…I…it's wonderful."_

Aaron stuttered as tears trickled down his face. Behind him the lads all muttered their agreement.

"_Good._ Jackson breathed a sigh of relief. _I didn't want you to think I was trying to change everything. All your stuff is still here and I haven't touched Paddy's room."_

For the first time ever words failed Aaron, so he walked up to Jackson and enveloped him in his arms, squeezing him tightly, so he could feel his heart through his shirt beating in time with his own. He whispered to him.

"_I love you so much. Thank you. It is perfect."_

***Cough* *Cough***

Cain interrupted their moment.

"_Any chance of a brew? I'm gaspin'."_

"_We will do you one better. Give us an hour to get ourselves sorted then meet us in the pub. Drinks are on us to say thank you."_

"_That's what I'm talkin' about."_

Cain smiled.

"_Plus we're nipping into town for a couple if anyone wants to join us?" _

Jackson threw out there as an afterthought. Aaron stared at him blankly. That was unwelcome news to him. But to his surprise everyone accepted even Cain.

Whilst Jackson was in the shower Aaron raided his wardrobe looking for a suitable outfit for their night out. He usually didn't have a problem in this department, but he looked at everything at least five times before flinging them on his bed. Jackson walked in to find him curled up, the covers over his head, sobbing. He lay beside him and then cradled him in his arms.

"_I'm sorry. I'm really really really really sorry."_

"_What for? It was me who suggested town. You were quite happy just to go for a quiet drink in the pub."_

"_We were havin' such a good day and now I've gone and messed it up."_

"_Aaron you haven't messed anything up. Today has been perfect. I moved in with the lad I love. Tonight and going out is not important. What is important is that we are starting a new chapter in our life together. I don't want to put you under any pressure."_

"_So we don't have to go to Bar West?"_

"_Not if you don't want to."_

"_I just think it is way too soon to go back there. The flashbacks have barely stopped."_

"_I get that. I dream about that night too. I still see his face and all the blood."_

He shivered involuntary.

"_Is that why you have stopped driving?"_

Jackson deliberately changed track.

"_Dave said we should challenge our fears."_

"_So we…well I should go to town then?"_

"_I guess so."_

"_And you should drive."_

"_I'll face mine if you face yours."_

"_Okay."_

"_Not like this though. Shower first. And don't worry I'll find you something to wear."_

Jackson goaded him good naturedly.

"_I want to wear that blue shirt I bought."_

"_It's a bit dressy even for town."_

"_I want to make an effort. Besides it matches my eyes."_

"_And no one knew you were gay? Mind boggling."_

Jackson asked sarcastically.

"_Ey."_

Aaron slapped him playfully.

"_That's it. Shower. Now!_ Whipping him with the towel from around his waist completely naked Jackson chased him into the bathroom. _And hurry up. We said we'd be in the Woolly for seven and it is quarter too now."_

"_Alright. Alright. Geez. Keep your undies on."_

"_I will till later. Now hurry up we have a hot date with Cain, Ryan, Adam, Scarlett, Hannah, Holly and Victoria."_

"_I know._ He peeped round the door. _Why do you think I am wearing my best shirt?"_

"_I have no idea. I didn't think we were visiting my mam today though_."

Jackson quipped.

"_Oh Ha Ha. It really isn't that dressy."_

Aaron frowned as he eyed himself up and down in their new full length mirror.

"_No it isn't. You look great. Lets go we are late already."_

"_I know, but are you sure I look alright?"_

"_Beautiful. Stunning. Handsome._ Jackson bundled him down the stairs and grabbed his coat as he pushed him out the front door. _Get going or that mirror goes tomorrow. God you're worse than any woman I know for having to check yourself out."_

"_But I do look okay?"_

Aaron continued to fish for compliments.

"_Van. In. Now. But for the record you do look sexy. You always do."_

Aaron blushed. He still wasn't great at accepting positive comments, especially from men.

"Thanks. He whispered shyly. _You look good too."_

Leaning over he kissed Jackson lightly on the cheek.

"_What was that for?"_

"_Nothing. Well…everything. I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

Walking into the pub hand-in-hand they were greeted by a unanimous cheer. Hating the spotlight Aaron tried to hide behind Jackson, so he sent him to sit at their usual table with Adam and the girls, whilst Cain and Ryan joined him at the bar.

"_Right. What can I get you lads?"_

"_It is my round Bob and it will be 1 2 3 4 no 5 beers, 3 vodka and cokes, one for yourself and… He heard his mum and Chaz enter the room bickering as per usual. And a bottle of your finest House White and two glasses."_

"_Anything else?"_

"_Take one for Diane and whatever Zac and Lisa will have when they come in."_

"_Right, well that will be £6 for the Vodkas, £14 for the beers and £4 for the wine, so that will be £24 in total please."_

"_Better throw in another bottle of that wine and don't forget Diane's drink."_

"_Okay so that is £30 please."_

"_And that is everything. Cheers."_

"_Cheers. Have a good night."_

"_We will. Drinks up! Mam! Mam!"_

"_What?"_

He interrupted what was shaping up to be a cat fight.

"_Stop bickering like school kids and join the party. _He squeezed himself in beside Aaron, kissing him fleetingly on the cheek. _Pull up a chair we got you two bottles in."_

"_Really? Why?"_

Chaz questioned their motives.

"'_Cos we wanted to help you with one before we head into town."_

"_Awwww can't we join you I need a night out."_

"_Let me think about that. Mmmmmm no."_

"_Oy cheeky."_

"_It is hardly cool to go clubbing with your mam."_

Jackson defended his boyfriend.

"_You've been with family before._ Hazel protested. _And I'll have you know in my younger days I was the height of cool."_

Jackson covered his eyes in embarrassment as his mum attempted to demonstrate her winning dance moves.

"_Watch it!_ Chaz screeched. _You'll have my eye out." _

She batted Hazel's flapping hands away from her face.

"_And on that note._ Jackson chose to not intervene. _I am driving Aaron and Cain. Ryan you and Adam can escort the girls."_

"_Why am I going with you two? Can't Ryan?"_

"_No. I need you to do me a favour."_

Aaron mumbled.

"_What favour?"_

"_I'll explain on the way. Adam you will probably get there before us so just go in, we won't be long."_

"_Why where are you going?"_

Adam may be open minded, but he had only visited Bar West once so he was slightly concerned by this tweaking of the plan.

"_A short detour. I'll tell you later."_

He covered mysteriously as Ryan was hovering over his shoulder.

"_You can tell me now."_

Cain insisted. Aaron agreed in order to keep the peace. He needed his help, so he wasn't about to annoy him.

"_Fine. Outside. I need you to come with us, because…"_

"_Spit it out."_

"_We are going to drive to where we had the crash that night and just in case…you will probably have to drive to the bar."_

"_Are you sure about this?"_

Cain was not exactly soft, but he was concerned that Aaron was maybe taking things too fast.

"_I'm as sure as I am going to get. Can you do that for me?"_

"_Yeah of course. Is Jackson okay with it?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Maybe you should ask him."_

Cain tried to not sound too patronizing.

"_It was the counselor's idea. Something about facing our fears."_

"_And that's all well and good, but it may be too soon."_

"_We'll see won't we. I just want everything back to normal."_

"_Well I am happy to help."_

"_Thanks. Great the taxi is here."_

"_You round up the troop and I'll give the driver the details."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes. I know it is a gay bar, but I am not that embarrassed. What's it called anyway?"_

"_Bar West and it is in Hotton. I don't know the name of the street, but they'll know it."_

"_That's useful."_

It took Cain all his will power not to roll his eyes at this point.

"_Well Jackson doesn't either."_

Aaron pouted.

"_Just go and get them the meter's running._ He stuck his head through the passenger window. _Bar West please mate. They are all just inside."_

"_How many passengers?"_

"_Four no five."_

"_Big night out then?"_

"_Yeah. My nephew and his boyfriend have just moved in together so it is a party of sorts."_

"_I don't get the whole gay thing myself. Not that I have a problem with it mind._ He clarified, as Cain didn't look like the type of bloke to get on the wrong side of. _I mean each to their own and all that."_

"_Don't worry mate. I'm working on that myself._ Cain admitted. _But if he is happy that is all that matters. And here they all are. Where the heck have you lot been?"_

"_Toilet obviously. Just powdering our noses."_

Ryan replied sarcastically.

"_Where are the other two muppets?"_

"_Having a quick word with Chaz and Hazel."_

"_You lot can get going. We can follow you there."_

"_Cain…?"_

"_They will tell you later Adam."_

"_He just did. Look after them."_

"_I will. Don't worry. To Bar West please driver."_

"_Bbbbbut isn't that a gay bar?"_

Cain laughed as the taxi pulled away and he could hear Ryan babbling, digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

"_Right. Time to go."_

The lads appeared at his shoulder.

"_And you are both sure about this?"_

"_Lets just get it over with."_

Aaron answered less than confidently.

"_Agreed."_

Jackson agreed nervously.

"_Fine. Lets go."_

Cain walked over to the van as Aaron took hold of Jackson's hand and interlaced their fingers.

"_We can do this together._ Aaron reminded him encouragingly. _You said that. Remember?"_

"_I know."_

"_And if we can do this, believe me we can do anything, because I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

"_Come on you two. I don't have all night."_

"_Here we go then."_

Smiling as best he could Jackson squeezed Aaron's hand.

Jackson felt reasonably comfortable driving down the well lit streets of Hotton, but as they reached the outer country roads he consciously slowed down. Beside him Aaron was shaking and he was gripping his leg so tight he was surprised he hadn't drawn blood.

"_You don't have to do this yet." _

Cain directed this at both of them.

"_I do."_

"_No. No you don't. We don't._ Jackson gripped his hand. _You're not weak."_

"_I just want it to stop. All the flashbacks and everything. I can't move on if I have to see him like that."_

"_You're not the only one. Marlon and I see exactly the same thing every time we close our eyes. You weren't in it alone."_

"_It doesn't affect you the same."_

Aaron blushed, as he deliberately turned away from Cain.

"_No but that has stopped."_

"_For now."_

Aaron muttered.

"_Aaron. I know it is embarrassing for you, but we will deal with it. We can deal with anything. You have been through a traumatic experience. _Cain had cottoned on to the gist of their conversation, but had the tact to appear oblivious. He had no idea how difficult things had been for them. Aaron had been slightly less communicative that was true, but in all honesty he hadn't noticed much of a difference in his behaviour, apart from he'd been more open with Jackson in public, which wasn't a bad thing. _David said this could help."_

"_You had better drive. It was further down there."_

Aaron pointed out of the window for Cain's benefit.

Jackson restarted the engine and gripped the wheel. His knuckles turned white, but the shaking didn't stop.

"_It was just down there."_

He repeated for his own benefit before checking his mirrors twice to make sure the road was one hundred per cent clear before crawling out.

"_Can you speed up? It is illegal to go this slow. _As soon as the van stopped both boys jumped out and threw up._ I knew this was a bad idea."_

Cain grumbled as Aaron sank to the floor in tears, pale and shaking and Jackson leant against the van not looking much better.

"_Lets go. _Aaron pleaded. _Now."_

"_What to the club?"_

"_No. Home."_

"_Fine. You're driving._ Jackson handed Cain the keys before making his way over to Aaron to help him up. _Come on. It's okay._ He wrapped his arm round his shoulder and tried to lift him to his feet, but he wouldn't move. _Aaron you'll have to help me here a bit babe._ He curled up tighter and refused to move. What's wrong? Jackson tried to lift his head up, but he muttered into his knees. _Say that again?"_

"_It hasn't stopped."_

Aaron whispered as he straightened his legs, so Jackson caught sight of the wet patch on his jeans.

"_It's okay. Not a problem. _Being ever resourceful Jackson removed his jacket and tied it round Aaron's waist, albeit the wrong way, so it covered his legs. _Lets go home. We can have a bath and an early night._ He held him as he cried into his chest. _Come on stand up."_

"_I am so sorry."_

"_Stop apologizing."_

"_You can change your mind about moving in with me if you want? I mean this can't be that much fun for you."_

"_It's not." _

Jackson nudged him playfully.

"_Thanks very much."_

"_Aaron I love you and despite all of this today has been…well it has been perfect."_

"_You must be mad." _

Aaron stated incredulously.

"_No. I would be mad to let you go."_

He enveloped Aaron in his arms, as tears trickled down their faces.

"_God. I love you Jackson Walsh."_

"_I love you too. You must be sick of saying that by now." _

He quipped.

"_Nope not really."_

Aaron managed a watery smile.

"_Good. 'Cos I'm not sick of hearing it."_

"_Come on you two. It's freezing in here."_

"_Put on the heater then."_

Aaron shouted cheekily ignoring Cain's obvious non-verbal reply.

"_Better not keep him waiting."_

Jackson offered Aaron his hand.

"_What's a couple of minuets more?"_

Aaron smiled as he pulled Jackson closer, their lips touched, parting to allow their eager tongues access to explore and taste every nook and cranny of one another, entwining and battling for supremacy of the kiss.

"_Van NOW. _Cain hollered to interrupt what was fast turning into a live sex show, as the kiss grew more passionate and hands had started to wander under clothing revealing skin, which he drew the line at. _That has to be illegal."_


	10. Seeking Permission

**Six Months Later – Seeking Permission**

"_So there is nothing I can say to change your mind?"_

"_No. I love him." _

Jackson smiled, a true smile that reached right to his eyes causing them to sparkle, something Hazel hadn't seen in a long while.

"_Good. Go get him."_

Hazel wrapped her arms round her little boy's neck squeezing the breath out of him.

"_Mum. Enough. But thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_For understanding and not turning your back on me. Aaron and I may have done things the hard way, but we are still together and we are happy."_

"_Well that is all I need to hear. Have you spoken to Chaz?"_

"_Not yet. I wanted to ask all the Dingles together. I don't think I could do it more than once. This may sound slightly daft, but I ran it passed Paddy. Told him I loved Aaron and I would always look after him and that we miss him like crazy."_

"_Why is that daft? Paddy was like his dad and that is usually who you would speak to. In fact speaking of da-"_

"_No. No way._ Jackson cut her short. _He walked out on us."_

"_Don't you think he'd want to know?"_

"_Not in the slightest."_

"_Let me tell him."_

"_Do what you want but I am not speaking to him."_

"_And if he wants to apologize?"_

"_Too little too late. He made his choice now he can live with it."_

Bristling at the thought, Jackson kissed her cheek before storming out of the pub. So caught up in his own little world, Jackson collided with Chaz on the doorstep. Luckily she seemed to be in a good mood.

"_Woha. Slow down or you'll do someone a serious injury. Where are you off to in such a hurry?"_

"_Looking for you actually."_

"_And you've found me so what can I do for you?"_

Sitting at the picnic table she patted the seat beside her.

"_It's Aaron-"_

"_Why what's wrong?_ Her smile instantly disappeared. _I thought the nightmares and 'accidents' or whatever had stopped."_

"_Cain told you?"_

He made a mental note to give Aaron the heads up.

"_He's my brother."_

"_Everything is fine or at least better, but it isn't that I wanted to talk about."_

"_Right. _The smile returned to her face. _What is it then?"_

"_I want to ask you, well your family something."_

"_As long as it isn't for money I am sure it will be fine."_

She teased good naturedly.

"_No it isn't money."_

"_Well spill. Some of us haven't got all day."_

"_I want to ask him and I haven't yet so don't panic. I mean I needed to check with you first so feel free to say no, 'cos I don't even know what he thinks about-"_

"_Jackson spit it out."_

"_I want to ask him to marry me._ For the first time ever Chaz was literally lost for words. Tears welling in her eyes she threw her arms around him, nearly strangling him too. _I've got a ring and everything._ He prized her off and placed the satin box in front of her. _Have a look."_

The ring was beautiful. A simple gold band, vine design and he'd paid for a personal inscription 'You've got me. We can do anything together.'

"_He'll love it._ She sobbed. _And if he doesn't I'll marry you."_

She quipped.

"_I'll bare that in mind._ He winked flirtatiously. _But I have your blessing?"_

"_A million times over. Other than Paddy you have been the best thing in his life and I know you mean everything to him. I'll deal with my lot you just focus on Aaron."_

"_I will and thank you for your support."_

"_Don't be daft. Thank you for all you've done. For sticking around."_

"_It's nothing. I love him very much."_

"_I know. I hope he realizes just how lucky he is."_

"_I'm the lucky one. I'll see you later, there is someone I need to speak to."_

"_It might be hard Jackson, but at least hear him out."_

"_How…?"_

"_Female intuition._ Chaz winked knowingly. _You wouldn't feel right without telling him first. He'll always be your dad."_

"_Maybe."_

Jackson sighed as he headed back into the pub hoping his mum was still there and that she hadn't already made the call.


	11. Second Chance and A Surprise

**Two Days Later – Second Chance and A Surprise**

"_Sit down you'll wear a hole in the carpet."_

Jackson had been pacing round the lounge for a good half an hour or more, to say he was nervous was an understatement.

"_I can't believe he is coming here. It's been years. Remind me why I am putting myself through this."_

"_Because he's your dad. And everyone deserves a second chance."_

Hazel placed her hands on his shoulders and encouraged him to breathe normally.

"_No. He is the homophobic idiot who punched me."_

"_You forgave Aaron."_

"_Yeah, well I love him and he is hardly homophobic. Dad was so embarrassed by me he walked away and started a new family."_

"_It really wasn't like that."_

Hazel tried to reassure him, but her comforting fell on deaf ears.

"_I beg to differ. _Jackson already had a half brother and there was another on the way by all accounts. _Lets hope they're 'normal' ey."_

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **

"_Shall I get it then?" _

Hazel enquired as Jackson had finally collapsed onto the sofa.

"_Yes. No…I mean sure."_

"_You'll be okay son._ She gave him a fleeting hug. _Gerry. Hi. How are you?"_

"_Fine. And you?"_

"_Me? Couldn't be better. Jackson has some good news to share with you. Come in and sit down."_

He sat on the arm chair as far away from Jackson as possible, he didn't take off his coat and he could barely look him in the eye.

"_Has he? Lets hear it then."_

"_Dad I know it is very unlikely you will want to hear this, but I couldn't go through with it without telling you first. It wouldn't be fair not to give you a second chance."_

"_Oh yeah."_

"_I have been with this lad called Aaron for a while now and to say we've been through hell is putting it mildly."_

"_And?"_

"_I have asked his mum's permission to marry him."_

"_You've what?" _

The anger that had been brewing under the surface suddenly exploded.

"_Now Ger-"_

"_Don't Hazel. I thought you might have grown up, seen sense or whatever. What you do…what you say you are it's disgusting. You're no son of mine."_

"_Out. Get out of my house. Now."_

None of them had heard the front door.

"_Who the hell are you?"_

Gerry spat as he rose to his feet.

"_Aaron, but I don't need to ask who you are. Jackson told me you are an idiot."_

"_Aaron._ Jackson tried to restrain him as he squared up to his dad. _He isn't worth it. He's meant nothing to me since the day he left. If he still has a problem with who I am he can leave. It's what he is good at."_

"_Just go before I make you."_

"_Fancy yourself as a bit of a hard man do ya?"_

"_Just try me."_

"_Gerry. Stop it."_

"_Aaron please don't."_

"_Yeah, you listen to lover boy."_

What happened next none of them had been expecting. It all happened so fast that Aaron didn't even realize Jackson no longer had hold of him.

"_I'm your son you ignorant prick. I'm not soft, weak, disgusting or any of the other things you called me. I am finally happy._ Jackson barged passed Aaron, literally steaming, and punched his dad square in the jaw. _So you can leave now."_

He leered at him as he lay on the floor shaking and bleeding.

"_Jackson."_

"_What?"_

"_It's over. Take a breath." _

Aaron snaked his arms around Jackson's waist, holding him upright.

"_I need to walk or something."_

He could still feel the adrenalin surging through his veins.

"_No. Sit. Try and relax."_

None of them took the slightest notice of Gerry as he managed to stand using the coffee table for support.

"_I doubt I'll be seeing him again."_

Jackson joked to ease the tension.

"_See the thing about this is I don't understand why he was here in the first place."_

"_Anyone for a brew?"_

Hazel made herself scarce.

"_I thought you weren't speaking to him."_

"_I'm not. Well I wasn't I just…"_

Aaron was desperately trying to keep a straight face as Jackson stuttered and flapped.

"_I believe you wanted to ask me something?"_

He tried to sound nonchalant, but knowing he'd heard the conversation Jackson decided to have a little fun of his own.

"_Ask you something? Nope I don't think I did."_

"_You sure?"_

"_Yeah definitely sure."_

"_So there was nothing you asked my mum for?"_

"_Nope not that I can think of._ Aaron actually looked disappointed. _Wait. There was a small thing."_

"_What was that?"_

"_Her permission to do this."_

Shaking uncontrollably, Jackson dug in his jeans pocket and pulled out the box he had shown to Chaz earlier, then holding onto the sofa for support he got down on bended knee.

"_What are you doing?"_

Even though he knew it was coming, he was sure his heart had stopped beating.

"_Aaron I know this is probably not where you saw your life heading, but after all we have been through we are still together and I love you more now than that first day you ever came into Bar West and my life. I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone, but you changed my life and continue to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes. Definitely. I love you."_

Tears flowing he threw himself on top of Jackson pinning him to the floor and clashing their lips together forcibly.

"_Can I come in now?"_

Hazel interrupted their moment as she called from the kitchen.

"_Sure. Any chance of that brew?"_

Aaron teased.

"_Yeah, if you make it yourself and you make us one whilst you're at it."_

Hazel replied with a wink as she enveloped him in her arms.


	12. A Night To Forget

**A Year And A Half After The Accident – A Night To Forget **

Knowing that many of the usual wedding traditions were out of the window, Jackson insisted the night before the ceremony they slept in separate houses, so they wouldn't see each other before the service.

"_Let me get this straight. Of all the things we could have kept traditional you decided that we spend the night before our wedding apart, that's what you want?"_

_Aaron couldn't believe it._

"_Since we had a joint stag night and neither of us have our dads giving us away it was this or you in a dress so take your pick."_

"_What would the dress be like?"_

Aaron was seriously considering it.

"_Don't be daft. It's once night with your mam, then in the morning I'm going to the B n' B to get dressed and Adam's coming here to help you."_

"_I know the plan._ Aaron laughed. _You have been repeating it in your sleep."_

"_I can't help it if I am excited. How are you feeling?"_

"_Nervous._ He conceded. _But the happiest I have ever been."_

Aaron smiled and a sparkle appeared in his eyes.

"_Good. _Jackson returned his smile. _I know something we haven't thought about. Who's taking whose last name?"_

"_Actually I have had an idea about that. We can use both. But it is up to you, because you proposed I should probably take your name."_

"_No. I kinda like that idea. Mr A and Mr J Livsey-Walsh. It has a certain ring to it."_

"_You like it?"_

"_Yeah. It is a great idea."_

"_I do have the occasional good one."_

"_If you say so._ Jackson dodged Aaron's playful punch. _Watch it. I don't want a black eye for the photos tomorrow. So, are you ready for the off?"_

"_Couldn't I just stay here? I'll sleep on the sofa."_

"_No 'cos you wouldn't and besides I have my vows to finish."_

'Shit!' He had totally forgotten about them.

"_I've just got to type mine up. I better go to get mum off the computer._ He lied unconvincingly. _I love you. See you tomorrow."_

He kissed Jackson and then sprinted out of the door.

"_They better be good Aaron."_

Jackson shouted at his retreating back. Once out of ear shot, now completely panicked Aaron phoned Adam who was his acting best man.

"_Aaron slow down and take a breath. Vows? How is it my fault? Give me half an hour to eat my tea and I'll meet you there. I'm not with Scarlett. Fine I'll call her. See you in a bit."_

The ten minuet walk to his mums took less than five as his brain kicked into overdrive. She let him in and he stormed directly upstairs bypassing the fact his dad had been stood in the hallway and had even attempted to say hello.

He unpacked his clothes and wash bag, all the while breathing deeply trying to overcome the nausea he was feeling, however as he finally collapsed on the bed, laying back and closing his eyes, comprehension dawned. As he opened his bedroom door he came face to face with the man who had kicked him out and eventually given up on him.

"_What do you want?"_

"_Hello, Aaron. How are you?"_

"_I said what do you want?"_

"_To talk."_

"_I have nothing to say to you."_

"_Your mum seems to think you do. Come downstairs we've ordered take out."_

"_I don't want food."_

"_Well come and have a brew at least."_

"_Can't. I'm busy."_

"_Aaron. I'm trying here."_

"_A bit late."_

"_That's not fair."_

"_You chose your new girlfriend over me. How is she by the way?"_

"_I have no idea. She moved in with Sam the milkman and I haven't spoken to her since and that was two months ago."_

"_So you thought you'd come crawling back here? Are you lonely or just bored?"_

"_Neither your mum called-"_

"_So you weren't even planning on visiting? You've come 'cos mum nagged you?"_

"_Aaron be fair."_

"_Fair! Nothing has ever been fair for me. I was abandoned and let down by you and mum, then the one person I grew close to, who I finally let in dies in a car crash I was involved in. So I am sorry if I haven't exactly been the perfect son, but all of this was overshadowed by me being gay, trying to kill myself, punching the lad I have fallen in love with, who I am marrying tomorrow and having to deal with you crawling out of the woodwork, but also his dad who is a homophobic prick. So don't talk to me about being fair." _

He attempted to close the door in his face but his dad pushed it back.

"_Aaron I am so-"_

"_Forget it."_

"_I had no idea."_

"_How would you? It's been a while and you didn't even call."_

"_You didn't either."_

"_You kicked me out. Not that it matters 'cos I had mam and Paddy."_

"_What about your…?"_

"_Boyfriend."_

"_Yeah. How long have you been together?"_

"_Over eighteen months."_

"_So a while then. And you're getting married?"_

"_Mum didn't tell you?"_

"_No. I thought you should have that pleasure."_

Neither Aaron nor his dad had heard Chaz come upstairs.

"_Thanks for that."_

"_Look can we just go downstairs and have our food?"_

"_Good idea it is getting cold. Oh and Adam has just arrived."_

"_Maybe we can have that chat?"_

"_I can't. I meant it when I said I was busy. I forgot all about my vows so I called Adam to help."_

"_Well we're not completely useless. Your mum and I have been there."_

"_Yeah and you downloaded yours from the web."_

"_Now there's an idea."_

Aaron smiled.

"_I was never great with words. I needed a little help."_

"_Yeah well now you know where you get it from."_

Chaz teased.

"_Okay enough._ Aaron intervened. _Lets eat. We can have that chat and I'd be very grateful if you could both help me."_

He ushered them downstairs and into the kitchen where Adam was sat pale as a ghost.

"_Adam what's up?"_

"_Hazel just called. You need to get back to yours."_

"_Why? What's happened?"_

"_It's Jackson."_

"_Spit it out Adam."_

"_He's been attacked."_

"_Is it bad?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Adam?"_

"_She called an ambulance."_

"_Right. I have to go."_

"_I'll drive you the quad's outside."_

"_Or I could take you all."_

His dad offered.

"_Can you take us all to mine and then the hospital?"_

"_Yes. I'm glad to help."_

"_Thanks. Did Hazel say what had happened?"_

"_Jackson was out cold. It looked like he had hit his head. She saw his dad leaving."_

"_Did she call the police? _Adam shook his head. _Good. I am going to bloody kill him."_

"_No._ His dad took charge of the situation. _What you're going to do is take some of this food, get back to yours and stay with your man. Adam will wait with you. Hazel, me and your mum will go and have a word with his dad."_

"_But…"_

"_For once just do what I say. Trust me, we'll sort it. You need to be at Jackson's side when he comes round."_

"_He's right you know?"_

"_I know." _

Aaron conceded.

"_Right, Aaron in front to direct me."_

"_I can do that."_

Chaz offered.

"_Yeah and we've been there before."_

"_One time."_

"_Blackpool instead of Wales."_

"_You were distracting me and besides his house is less than five minuets down the road."_

"_True but the hospital isn't."_

Adam watched their flirting amusedly, but Aaron was growing impatient.

"_Hello. Emergency here."_

They pulled up outside Smithy just as Jackson was being carried out on a stretcher. Aaron barely waited for the car to stop before he was running to him.

"_Jackson! Oh God. Is he okay? I'm here Jay."_

"_Who are you?"_

Aaron had shoulder charged into one of the paramedics.

"_It's okay. That is his fiancé."_

Hazel appeared in the nick of time.

"_And them?"_

"_His mum, his best friend and-"_

"_My dad._ Aaron sorted the introductions. _Hazel, did Gerry do this?"_

"_I don't know I found him on the floor."_

"_But you saw his car? Adam told me."_

"_Aaron you have to understand he isn't a bad person."_

"_How can you say that? Just look at what he's done. No wonder Jackson is so against violence. That's twice he has hit him."_

"_He couldn't accept him being gay."_

"_That's no excuse. I know I more or less did the same thing, but I won't ever lay a hand on him again, because I love him."_

"_I know and Gerry does in his own way."_

"_He walked away from you twice."_

"_That may be true, but he has never stopped caring."_

"_Jackson doesn't see it like that."_

"_Neither did you._ His dad interrupted. _Sorry, but I was wondering if you, Chaz and I could maybe try having a word? I'm new to this situation and it has been a bit of a shock for me too, but my point is that our son's are together and I have never seen Aaron this calm or happy, so like it or not we will have to deal with it."_

"_We can give it a try."_

Hazel smiled hopefully.


	13. Winners And Losers

**That Same Evening – Winners and Losers **

"_Hey. How're you doing?" _

Adam rested his hand on Aaron's shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

"_That has to be the most stupid question ever. I'm back in a hospital something I swore I would never do after Paddy, the night before my wedding no less, so how do you think I am feeling?"_

"_I know I'm sorry."_

"_No I'm sorry. _He really hadn't meant to snap at him. _After Paddy I thought I was moving on, but we're back here._ Aaron squeezed Jackson's hand as tears trickled down his face. _I can't lose him too."_

"_And you won't. Just wait for him to wake up._ They had been at the hospital over four hours and so far Jackson was still unconscious. _Do you want anything? A drink or a chocolate bar? I could go to the canteen."_

"_No, thanks. Is Hazel coming in for a bit? I'm just nipping to the loo."_

"_You go. I'll watch him."_

"_Why?"_

"_Why what?"_

"_Where is Hazel? In fact where are my mum and dad?"_

"_They nipped out an hour ago."_

"_Where to? _Suddenly Adam couldn't look him in the eye. _Did they go to see his dad? Adam. Tell me."_

"_I think they went to have a word."_

"_But what if something happens?"_

"_She knows you're here with him. Besides I said I'd call her if anything changed."_

"_I swear Adam if they don't deal with Gerry I will."_

Adam was saved from responding, as the machine connected to Jackson's heart started to flash and beep.

"_Call a nurse. His eyes flickered. Jay can you hear me? Oh thank God."_

"_So you two ladies wait here-"_

"_Don't be daft. I'm here for our Aaron."_

"_And he is my husband."_

'_That's what I thought.'_

Gordon mumbled.

"_So, does he live alone?"_

"_No he has a girlfriend, a son and another baby on the way."_

"_No wonder Jackson doesn't think much of him."_

"_We're not here to judge. _Gordon reprimanded her. _Besides we'd hardly win Parent Of The Year Awards."_

"_No, but I never hit our Aaron."_

"_No matter how much you wanted to, ey?"_

"_That's not the point."_

"_Enough bickering. _Gordon interrupted what was fast turning into one of their cat fights. _We're here to-"_

"_Wring his bloody neck."_

"_No._ He grabbed Chaz's arm. _Maybe you should wait in the car. We are here to talk. I'll go up first."_

"_No. I better had. He'll be expecting me at least."_

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**

"_Shhhh. Turn it off for God's sake. You'll wake the whole street up."_

"_It's our Aaron."_

"_Great. What does he say?"_

"_Give me a sec. It says…Jackson's awake and talking and the doctors are doing tests."_

"_Thank God. So we should be getting back to them."_

"_What about Gerry?"_

"_Jackson was right. He isn't worth it. Tomorrow or soon our boys will be getting married and he doesn't have to be there, he's made his choice."_

"_What about all the pain he's caused? Are you just going to let him win?"_

"_How has he won? He's just lost himself a wonderful son and son in law. They are happy, we're happy, he's not. Come on. Lets go."_


	14. So What Happened?

"_So what happened?" _

Jackson mumbled groggily once the doctor had finished examining him and Adam had gone to the canteen for something to eat leaving him and Aaron alone.

"_I thought you could tell me. Do you remember anything?"_

"_I remember answering the front door. It was my dad I think. Everything else is a bit blurry. My head is banging."_

"_Not surprising really. Is that all you remember?"_

"_Yeah. Why? Where's my mum?"_

"_She nipped out with my mum and dad a while ago."_

"_To see him?"_

"_I think so."_

"_Did he do something? Aaron?_ Aaron couldn't even look him in the eyes as he vaguely managed to nod his head. _He hit me didn't he?"_

"_We think so. You were unconscious when your mum found you."_

"_Was he there? Did she see him?"_

"_She saw his car leaving."_

"_I can't believe he'd do that again. What an idiot."_

Jackson shook his head in disbelief. Aaron interlaced their fingers and squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"_Don't worry about it babe. He's not worth it."_

"_He's not you're right._ Jackson breathed deeply and hitched a smile onto his face. _What are you doing here anyway?_ _You'll do anything to sleep in the same room as me won't you?"_

"_Oh yeah. This was all part of my plan."_

Aaron drawled sarcastically.

"_I can imagine it isn't exactly where you wanted to be."_

Jackson returned the pressure and managed a shy smile.

"_No but I'll go anywhere for you."_

He blushed at his own soppiness, as at that moment Adam appeared through the door cups and snacks in hand.

"_Awwwww. Cute. So I was thinking about the wedding-"_

"_I doubt that's going to be happening."_

Aaron mumbled disappointedly.

"_Maybe not tomorrow._ Jackson conceded. _But I only have to stay in for observation and then I can go home, so we could just rearrange."_

"_That's what you want to do?"_

"_Of course. Don't you?"_

"_You know I do."_

"_Then what's the matter Aaron?"_

He adverted his gaze to the floor, he hated sometimes that Jackson knew him too well.

"_I was just thinki-"_

"_Well don't."_

"_You don't know what I am going to say."_

"_If it is anything to do with going to see my dad forget it now."_

"_I will but I think our folks have taken things into their own hands. But that isn't what I was going to say."_

"_Oh, sorry. So continue."_

"_I was going to say what happened with your dad and having to postpone the wedding, it made me realise I want to make it special. I don't want to have a poxy registry office wedding. I have some money saved up. I want you, me and our family, the ones who want to be there anyway to go abroad and do this thing properly."_

Jackson could not believe what he was hearing. He had deliberately minimized the plans and the fuss, because he knew how much Aaron hated the idea of being the centre of attention, but here he was talking about having a proper no holes bared wedding with his family and friends all there. It was all he had ever wanted.

"_Are you sure? I mean it doesn't have to be over the top expensive or anything."_

"_Jackson this is meant to be our day, so money should be no object, although I do have a bit of a budget I want to give you the wedding you want and deserve. I love you."_

"_I love you too. You softie."_

"_Shhh now don't be telling anyone. I've got a reputation to protect."_

"_Yeah well I think your secret is out."_

Jackson quipped as Aaron turned round, having remembered that Adam was still in the room, he was stood by the door snivelling like a baby.

"_What? I think it's cute. You two are so cute together."_

Aaron squirmed uncomfortably as Adam pulled them both into a bear hug.

"_Yeah, well. Get off me will ya? Is my mum back yet?"_

"_I haven't seen them, but I assume they are on the way. I text them to let them know you'd come round. So about the wedding, where were you thinking of having it?"_

"_We've not actually ever discussed it but there was somewhere I was thinking."_

Aaron ventured shyly.

"_Oh yeah and where's that?"_

Jackson asked in surprise.

"_Well the best holiday I have ever had with you or with anyone actually was to __Lanzarote."_

"_Really? Aaron we can't afford that. Can we?"_

"_I have a little bit of money saved up, which I was going to use for the honeymoon. We could have the service out there and then an extended holiday."_

"_Well I was going to contribute towards the honeymoon too, as my wedding gift, but if you're planning to have an extended wedding my savings can go towards that instead."_

"_Oh Ads that is amazing."_

He wrapped his arms around him tightly, a huge grin on his face.

"_Hey, come on. What happened to this reputation you have to protect?"_

"_Screw that. I….no we are getting married in Lanzarote."_


End file.
